The Night Before Your Wedding

Photo via Life A La Wife

Everyone knows that the night before a big wedding day can be stressful for a bride and groom (and mother of the bride and groom). Naturally, nerves are setting in, and the pressure is taking it's toll. As a coordinator, I've seen it all. I've seen brides trying to finish all their DIY projects, attempting to set up the ceremony and reception space, trying to cram in so much pampering that they run late to their own rehearsal, and one of my younger brides was even trying to finish her homework before leaving on her honeymoon. 

Photo via Katie Lamb

Now you might think, I would never do that! I have enough sense to plan ahead! But you would be surprised how often these things happen. So, as someone who has your best interests at heart, please listen to me when I say NO STRESSING BEFORE THE WEDDING!

It's perfectly natural to be nervous. Committing your life to another person is a big decision, and it should be respected by a good amount of nerves. What doesn't help is worrying about the ceremony and reception details. The longer an engagement is, the more time a bride has to worry about the details. By the time the wedding rolls around, even if everything is done to her (or her mother's) exact specifications, she is still bound to be worrying about last minute things to take care of.  Take it from me and get out of your own head! 

Photo via Style Me Pretty

Here are some common things that Brides worry about on the night before their wedding:

Oh no... Did I finish everything on my list? I still have 12 hours to get everything done! What can I do tonight? Maybe I'll just stick around with my bridesmaids after the rehearsal and set stuff up. That way I know it will be done right.

Oh no... Did the wedding planner get the change that Aunt Sue can't sit next to Uncle Bob? I better check the seating chart one last time. That would ruin everything!

Oh no... Where is my special wedding razor? My legs won't be perfectly smooth unless I have THAT razor! Now my wedding night will be ruined!

Oh no... I don't trust my DJ. I know he's going to play terrible songs. I better make a list for him of what not to play. And I better do it right now. 

Oh no... What if the florist tries to put carnations in my bouquet? I hate carnations! I forgot to tell her that I HATE carnations. They are going to ruin my pictures. I better call...

Oh no... I'm supposed to tip my vendors? I didn't budget for that! They are all going to hate me and do a terrible job! My wedding is ruined!

I could go on and on, but these are not the kind of things that any bride, groom, or mother of a bride or groom should be thinking about on the night before a wedding. 

Photo via Style Me Pretty

I always instruct my clients to finish all of their projects before the week leading up to their wedding. The final week should be for spending time with family, playing games, pampering, and enjoying the festivities. If there are any projects left after this point, then they need to be delegated to friends, family members or (most importantly), vendors who are free to lend a helping hand. Worrying about what the escort cards look like, or if there are cute signs made for the restrooms is pointless after the final week marker. It will only be taking the focus away from what is important, like spending time with your family and celebrating soon to be married life.

Trust your vendors and your attendants to help you. If something pops into your head, and you start worrying then tell the maid of honor or coordinator. You have chosen them carefully for a reason. Now trust them to take care of you!

Photo via Etsy

Brides, here are the things that are good for you to be doing on the night before the wedding:

1. Finalize your wedding vows. Go over them in your head and remind yourself why you are going through all the stress of a wedding in the first place. Think about that wonderful person you are about to start your life with.

2. Have your bridesmaids do beauty treatments with you. Give yourself a nice facial (just a cleansing facial that won't cause breakouts), do your nails, and have some good old fashion girly fun.

3. Put on a good wedding movie. There's nothing more entertaining than Steve Martin in Father of the Bride. It's a great way to take your mind off of your own wedding chaos. 

That's it. Really, truly! That's all that the Bride should be doing before the wedding night. Anything else is unnecessary stress. You should be focusing on getting a good night's rest and having a little fun! 

Photo via Style Me Pretty

In reality, the stress won't let up until after the ceremony is over. There will be nerves running rampant until that point. It's totally natural. But you don't have to let it ruin your fun! Keep in mind that once you are walking back down the aisle with a new husband in tow, you aren't going to be concerned about the linens, seating chart, restroom signs, or flower choices. You will be concerned with celebrating and enjoying the moment.

So brides, grooms, and even moms... if you have reached the final week of the wedding, put down your to-do lists and have a little fun! You will thank me in the long run.  

A Word of Advice - Wedding Procrastination

Hello to all my lovely followers! 

Today I have some advice for you about procrastination. A lot of wedding stress and "disasters" are caused by procrastination. Everybody knows that procrastinating the wedding plans can cause chaos. Most brides don't do it, because they are excited to get going! You know who does it? THE GROOMS! I can't tell you how many times I've heard, "Why are you going wedding dress shopping 12 WHOLE MONTHS before the wedding?!". To that I say, there is no time like the present! For that matter, wedding planning and preparations take a lot of time...especially if you are planning on taking on DIY projects. Most people know that they should hire their vendors early on. That's the easy part. It's the small details that usually get pushed to the month before the wedding. Which leads me to today's word of advice...

Don't plan on leaving anything until the month before the wedding!

For some reason, no one ever listens to this advice. There's always escort cards to be made or final rental orders to be placed. The month leading up to the wedding is the most stressful time for a bride. The time for all of their hard work and preparation is coming to an end, and they are usually very stressed. This is the point where corners start getting cut and things get overlooked... as they should be! The month before the wedding should be all about celebrating and enjoying being a nearlywed. No bride should have to be worrying about details during this time. Here is a list of the only preparations that should take up time during the month before the wedding. They are...

• Floral Mock-Ups - A chance for your florist to show you a sample of what your flowers will look like when it gets close enough to be able to use the flowers that will be in season.

Flowers by Pixies Petals

• Schedule Finalizations - Making sure that your day-of schedule is exactly the way you want it and that your vendors are informed. Your wedding coordinator can help with this.

Planning Printables via A Pair of Pears

Last Minute Guest RSVP's - Not every guest will be able to tell you far enough in advance if they will be able to come to the wedding or not, and there are always last minute changes.

Invitations by Ladyfingers Letterpress

Dress Fittings - Bride, Bridesmaids, Flower girls, Mothers and Grandmothers of the Bride and Groom will all need to have their final dress fitting to make sure everything is perfect.

Dress by Rose Petals and Lace

Everything else should be completed, packed up and ready to go! And yet, I have never met a bride (myself included) who was able to stick to this plan. In fact! Most bridal to-do lists don't even follow this rule. They wait until the last minute to suggest things like preparing for the honeymoon and setting aside tips for your vendors. No! No! No! Someone has to put their foot down.

In my experience, there are a list of 5 things that will end up on a Bride's to do list much later than they should be. If brides were able to avoid this list, then I can guarantee their stress would be manageable. So with that said, here is my list of the 5 most common avoidable last minute wedding stressors...

1. Paper Goods and Handmade Details - This includes escort cards, table numbers, programs, menus, signs and any other DIY details that will be decorations at the ceremony or reception. These should be done as early as possible, because they are definitely the most time consuming projects.

DIY Pinwheel Instructions via Wedding Chicks

2. Vendor Gratuities - Gratuities are the #1 item forgotten in wedding budgets. It is really stressful to have to add in that cost on top of the already full budget. Make sure you account for gratuities when you hire the vendor. Just think of it as a part of the cost of their services.

Accurate Wedding Vendor Tipping Guide via Ceremony Magazine Blog

3. Final Linen, Lighting, Flower and Rental Selections - Don't second guess yourself! Your initial instinct was probably right! Adjusting orders at the last minute can get expensive and incredibly stressful. Try as hard as you can to account for everything early on.

Photo via Style Me Pretty

4. Gifts for the Attendants and Parents - Make sure you pick out gifts before it is the last minute. If you are ordering gifts or having something custom made this can take a while. You don't want to have them arrive too late. Also make sure you account for gifts in the budget, because even small things can add up! You want your gift to reflect your appreciation and not be a last minute addition to the budget.

Attendant Gift Clutches Photo via Style Me Pretty

5. Song Selections - People never think about how difficult it is to pick the perfect wedding songs. Decide early on, so you aren't having to wait until the last minute to make up your mind. What's good about doing this early is that you can give yourself a break from listening to the music before the wedding so that it seems that much more special on the big day.

Top 15 Most Inappropriate Wedding Songs via Bridal Musings

With any luck, these small things will be able to be done ahead of time so that everyone can spend their time celebrating. Now, that doesn't mean don't do them... they are very important! It just means THINK AHEAD! And if you can't do that, then hire a coordinator (like me!) to help you take care of them.

That's my advice for today. Hope all you brides out there find this helpful! If you have any questions about wedding planning, feel free to send me an e-mail. I'm happy to help!

cassandradyane@gmail.com

Good luck planning ahead!